Praise -- Title Page -- Dedication -- Acknowledgements -- Introduction -- Bitchin' BREAKFASTS -- French Scramble -- Homemade Granola Parfait -- THE Breakfast Sandwich -- Potato Scramble -- Pecan-crusted French Toast -- Basic Pancakes -- Basic Fruit and Nut Muffins -- Basic Fruit Smoothie -- Bitchin' Breakfast Burrito -- Denver Bitchlette for Two -- PMS PISSY MOOD SNACKS -- Quesadillas with Beans, Soy Cheese, Guacamole, and Salsa -- "Ham" and Cheese Puff Pockets -- Onion Rings -- Oven-baked Garlic Fries -- Quick Tortilla Pizzas -- Grown-up APPETIZERS -- Crabby Cakes with Remoulade Sauce -- Garlicky White Bean Spread on Crostini -- Herbed "Egg " Salad Scoops -- Mock Chop ped Liver -- Spicy Mixed Nuts -- Stuffed Mushrooms -- Spicy Sushi Rolls with Avocado and Cucumber -- Brown Sushi Rice -- Sassy Soups AND STEWS -- Cheezy Cream of Broccoli Soup -- "Chicken" Noodle Soup -- Lentil Vegetable Soup -- Split Pea Soup -- Red Wine "Beef" Stew -- Super Easy Creamy "Chicken" and Gravy Stew -- Skinny-Ass SALADS -- Caesar Salad with Homemade Herbed Croutons -- Greek Salad -- Chef's Salad -- Tabouleh -- Potato Salad with Fresh Dill -- Edamame Three-bean Salad -- Creamy Cole Slaw -- Mediterranean Pasta Salad -- Hearty-Ass SANDWICHES -- Club Sandwich -- Reuben-esque -- "Tuna" Salad Sandwich -- "Chicken" Salad Sandwich -- Philly "Cheesesteak" -- Veggie Burger Four Ways -- Grilled "Chicken" Panini Three Ways -- International BITCH -- Falafel -- Japanese Soba Noodles with Steamed Vegetables and Tofu -- Potato and Pumpkin Curry with Brown Basmati Rice -- Pad Thai -- Veggie Enchiladas -- Italian BITCH -- East Coast Lasag na -- Stuffed Shells with Red or White Sauce -- Penne with Butternut Squash, Sag e Pesto, and Almonds -- Fettuccini Alfredo -- Linguini with Pesto, Pine Nuts, and Sun-dried Tomatoes -- Eggplant Parmesan -- Down Home COOKIN' -- Macaroni and Four Cheeses.

Oven-fried "Chicken" and Cornbread -- Cha Cha Chile -- Potatoes au Gratin -- Shep herd's Pie -- Cheezy Casserole -- "Meatloaf" with Mashed Potatoes and Gravy -- Sloppy Joes -- Potato Skins with all the Fixin's -- Skinny Bitch STAPLE MEALS -- Steamed Veggies and Tofu with Brown Rice -- Double-dip Fondue -- Roasted Sausage, Peppers, Onions, and Garlic over Soft Polenta -- Big-Ass Veggie Burrito -- Smoked Tofu Stir-fry -- Summer Garden Pasta -- Waldorf Wheat Berry Salad -- French Lentil Salad -- Tamari-roasted Root Vegetables with C ashew Millet -- Balsamic Portobello Mushrooms over Grilled Vegetable Couscous -- Spaghetti Squash with Spicy Braised Greens, Raisins, and Pine Nuts -- Hummus, Tempeh, and Cucumber Wrap -- Green Goddess Pasta -- "Chicken" Square Meal with White Beans, Quinoa Pilaf, and Asparagus -- Divine Dressings, SAUCES, AND SUBSTITUTES -- Savory White Cream Sauce -- Brown Gravy -- Cheezy Sauce -- Ranch Dressing -- Thousand Island Dressing -- Miso Ging er Dressing -- Agave-Dijon Spread -- Agave-Dijon Dressing -- Caesar Dressing -- Basil Pesto -- Sage Pesto -- Basic Red Sauce -- Super Simple Pizza Sauce -- Tofu "Ricotta" -- Marinated Tofu "Feta" -- Happy ENDINGS -- Chocolate Chip Cookies -- Peanut Butter Potato Chip Cookies -- Buttery Shortbread Cookies -- Bitchtastic Brownies -- Hot Fudge Brownie Sundaes -- Cheezecake -- Vanilla Cake with Frosting -- Carrot Cake with Cream Cheese Frosting -- Chocolate Cake -- Dream Bars -- Rice Pudding -- Fresh Fruit Crisp -- After-Dinner Mint -- GLOSSARY -- INDEX -- Copyright Page.