Title Page -- Introduction -- Hello, Young Lovers -- Greensleeves -- Pretend I'm Here -- A Joint and a Nice Piece of Ass -- The Ballad of Jimmy Pie -- The Big Fry-Up at the Crazy Horse Café -- Bacon -- Eggs -- Beans -- Toast -- Black Pudding -- Marmite -- Tea -- Sausages -- Jam -- Mushrooms and Tomatoes -- Bubble and Squeak -- Spotted Dick -- A Serviette -- Thermopylae -- Bisexual Pussy Boy -- The Piers -- Neorealism at the Infiniplex -- Rivals -- Crayons -- Mouth of the River -- Pennsylvania Story -- Marge -- A Good Squeeze -- Diary of a Quack -- My Name Is Siegfried Kracauer -- I'm a Marxist, Sexually Speaking -- Don't Jab My Balls with Your Umbrella -- Smack Smack -- Here's My All-Purpose Eulogy -- For Dinner: Chicken Legs -- Future Topics -- I Jumble Chakras -- I Am Pink -- A Characteristic of Stavros's Speech Is Over-elaborateness -- A Heavy Concentration of Healers -- Family History -- At Least I'm Not a Victim (Today) of Hypomanic Flight of Ideas -- Killer 69 Is Making Progress -- Sheet, Draped over Killer 69's Buttocks -- Our Town Bears an Indeterminate, Pregnant Relation to Vaudevillian Pleasures -- DJ's Ass -- Killer 69's Ball-Sac -- How Did Siegfried Kracauer Die? -- Sophie Tucker Played Valhalla Palace -- Happy Twentieth Anniversary of First Coitus -- The Suicide of Isaac Gold -- Marlon and Liz -- Vaudeville Is Not Dead -- The Ego in Bits -- The "Tommy" Patch -- More on the "Tommy" Patch -- The Professor's Spanking Act -- My Slowness Stems from Sadism -- Bettina Kracauer's Andalusian Nouba -- Jacob Kracauer's Upper Lip Has an Opinion about the Creation Myth -- The Painted Boy -- About the Contributors -- About the Editor -- Copyright Page.