Cover -- Copyright -- Introduction -- 1. You only recognize primary colors. -- 2. Tip well. -- 3. Keep an empty urinal between you and the next guy. -- 4. Pack two pairs of shoes or less. -- 5. Out perform the GPS. -- 6. Use the diaper bag only for diapers. -- 7. Never switch your favorite team. -- 8. Slap his ass. -- 9. Stay until the end. -- 10. Only fear one thing. -- 11. She must be half your age, plus seven. -- 12. Never ask for her number. -- 13. Always hold the door. -- 14. Go for RBIs, not batting average. -- 15. Keep the one-night stands classy . -- 16. Don't take things slow. -- 17. Count protein, not calories. -- 19. Order food that's simpler, larger, and fattier than the girl's. -- 20. No straws , cherries, or umbrellas. -- 21. Avoid both pedicures and toe fungus. -- 22. Properly order a steak. -- 23. Shop without "going shopping." -- 24. No baths. -- 25. Only wear sunglasses when it's sunny. -- 26. Spend more on beer than haircuts. -- 27. No fake and bakes. -- 28. Shave. -- 29. Underdrink the boss. -- 30. Kick up, kiss down. -- 31. Dance only under duress . -- 32. Know how to chug a beer. Know not to. -- 33. Control the world with technology . -- 34. Don't be That Guy. -- 35. You can handle silence. -- 36. A buddy's fight is your fight. -- 37. Master the bro-hug. -- 38. No poking on Facebook. -- 39. Give Valentine's Day the respect it deserves. -- 40. Unhook the bra without help. -- 41. Never shit where you eat. -- 42. Even the train has digits. -- 43. Your dog must be larger than a toaster. -- 44. Keep her off the pole. -- 45. It's only a flesh wound. -- About the Author.