Contents -- Introduction -- MSM -- Democracy Diet -- I Want My Gay TV -- We're Back in Kansas, Toto -- The Passion of the Penguins -- Why You'll Never Hear "Heeeeeeere's Katie!" -- Hikikomori -- Mashups and Me -- He-Who -- The Body Politic -- Hairspray -- Dog Days of Summer -- See Alice? -- Crabby Putinesca -- Sister Friends -- Feeling Potlucky -- King of My Heart -- Desperate Housewiles -- Tant P.U. -- Kiss My Benchmark -- You Logo, Girl! -- This One's for You, Mildred -- Argh, O'Mateys! -- Big Love Trumps Mr. Big -- Ptown GPS -- Bawdy Politics -- An American Impressionist -- Not Full Citizens -- Happy Returns -- Stupor Bowl -- Amazing Grace -- B Is for Benchmark -- TGI 9/12 -- Rudimentary -- Our State of Affairs Is a Great State Fair -- Curb Your Cynicism -- Late Adopters -- Fighting Weight -- Sisterhood of the Traveling Pantsuit -- Why Not Hillary? -- "If you go down to the woods today . . ." -- Hillaphobic Blowback -- Hillary's My Guy -- Sitting Shiva on She -- It Ain't Over -- Hubble, Hubble -- Carpooling on the Straight Talk Express -- Do You Have to Go? -- The Itch to Hitch -- Faith-Based Comedy -- The Sistine Shusher -- Reading Between the Holy Lines -- Ding-Dong -- Ordained Comic -- M'Kay? -- St. Alf's Science Fair -- The Closet and the Confessional -- Moral Footprints -- Gayvolution Theory -- I Wish I Could Quit Ewe -- Just Rehab Those Slurs Away! -- Edible Equality -- Incoming! -- The Month Formerly Known as June -- Friends of Bill and Dorothy -- ENDA, Don't MENDA -- Power Is Sexy! Action Is Hot! -- Go, Golden Staters! Go, Buckeyes! -- The Perfect Heterostorm -- He Sees Gay People -- Citizen Arrests -- Third Term -- Peace of My Mind -- The UN Goes to Junior High -- I Don't Heart Huckabee -- Happy International Women's Day! -- DC 911 -- Buzzkill -- Lights Out on Bush -- Curb Your Mitt! -- Hypocrites Galore -- Precollision Intelligence.

Bush as Belichick -- PBTSD -- The Unconflicted White Man -- On the GLAAD Rag -- Wii the People -- Come On, Rogue -- Project Runaway -- Civic Tempura -- Even Covergirls Get the Blues -- The Palin Effect -- The Right to Comfort -- The Big Gay Slowdown -- Afterword -- Acknowledgments.