Cover -- Contents -- Preface -- Abbreviations and Acronyms -- 1. From Bourgeois to Builder -- 2. Sunrise Over the Carmel -- 3. Socialist Zionist -- 4. 'It is No Dream' -- 5. Searching for Myself -- 6. Rocking the Boat -- 7. Political Animal -- 8. Darkening Skies in Israel and Europe -- 9. Shedding Illusions -- 10. Out of the Frying Pan, Into the Fire -- 11. Character Assassination and Self-Censorship -- 12. 'Gunning for Lerman' -- 13. Pressing On -- 14. The Sense of an Ending -- 15. Afterword -- Acknowledgements -- Sources for Chapter Heading Quotations -- Note on Sources -- Glossary -- Index.