Cover -- Copyright -- Table of Contents -- INTRODUCTION -- CHAPTER ONE: Viewing Your Relationship From a New Perspective -- Pathways in the Brain -- Getting the Brain's Attention -- Metaphors -- Images and Imagery -- Of Course You Can Do Imagery -- Universal Symbols -- Personal Symbols -- Healing Exercise One - What Story Do You Tell Others About a Relationship That is Strained or Broken? -- CHAPTER TWO: Discovering Who You Are -- Removing the Mask That Hides Your True Self -- A Catalyst for Self-Discovery in the Bottom of a Hole -- You Can Only Begin From Where You Are -- Be Here Now -- Don't Forget Your Camera -- Understanding Your Personal Epistemology - and You Didn't Even Know You Had One -- The Unconscious Contents of Your Backpack -- Conscious Awareness of Who You Are -- Your Temperament Rules (More of Less) -- Extroverts and Introverts at a Party -- Evolving Into a New Person -- Healing Exercise Two - How Does Your Brain Store Information About Your Self-Identity and Your Relationships? -- CHAPTER THREE: Exploring How You Became Who You Are Today -- Reviewing the Fabric of Your Life -- The Limitations of Choice -- Family Rituals -- Family Rules -- Family Myths -- When Your Family Isn't Perfect -- The Eight Things That Influence How We Become Who We Are -- Healing Exercise Three - Why Do You Think You Are Who You Are? -- CHAPTER FOUR: Managing Your Emotions -- From "Shoulds" to Preferences -- Healthy Emotions Lie at the Core of Healthy Relationships -- Pulled Off Balance by Our Emotions -- Unhooking the Velcro® Syndrome -- Refusing to be Jerked Around -- It Pays to Practice -- Orchestra Leader, CEO, Director of a Play -- The Ultimate Velcro® Remover -- Breaking Fear's Hold on the Future -- Five Ways to Appreciate Your Ability to Manage Emotions -- A Special Symbol of Emotional Strength.

Acknowledge Your Ability to Change Your Emotional Response -- Quotations Worth Considering -- Healing Exercise Four - How Do Your Emotions Help or Hinder Your Relationships? -- CHAPTER FIVE: Setting a Goal for Your Relationship -- Why Have You Not Been Able to Heal Your Relationship Before Now? -- Are You Ready to Change? -- What is Your Call to Action? -- What Goal Can Help You Respond to Your Call to Action? -- What Will Your Life Look Like When Your Relationship Has Changed? -- What Challenges Are You Likely to Face as You Work Toward Your Goal? -- Are You Willing to Sacrifice Something For Your Relationship? -- Are You Willing to Do Everything You Can to Heal Your Relationship? -- Who Can Support You As You Heal Your Relationship? -- Healing Exercise Five - What Are You Willing to Give Up In Order to Improve Your Relationship? -- CHAPTER SIX: Letting Go of Guilt and Regrets and Learning to Apologize and Forgive -- Sorting Through Five Kinds of Guilt -- Forgiving Guilt That Hangs on Too Long -- Forgiving Yourself -- Dealing With Regrets -- Expressing Remorse and Asking for Forgiveness -- It is Never Too Late to Apologize -- Why It Is Hard to Forgive Others -- How We Become Able to Forgive Others -- Healing Exercise Six - How Will You Release Your Regrets? -- CHAPTER SEVEN: Strengthening Your True Self -- Viewing the Self Unattached to our Disparate Parts -- The Story of Bossy Betty and Creative Chris -- A Comprehensive View of the Human Psyche -- Constellations of Unmet Needs and Misconceptions -- What's in a Name? -- Chains, Ropes, Strings, and Thread -- Recognizing, Respecting and Managing Your False Selves -- Striping Away That Which Isn't You -- Discovering the True Self -- What Lies at the Center of Who You Are? -- What I Am Not and What I Am -- Being True to the True Self -- Take Your Time.

Healing Exercise Seven - What is the False Self at the Heart of Your Relationship Problems? -- CHAPTER EIGHT: Preventing Ego From Destroying Love -- Take Charge of Your Own "Well of Happiness" -- Myths of the Ego -- How Can You Tell If Your Ego or Your True Self Is In Charge? -- The Three Most Important Things About Sharing Your Experiences -- Explaining a Spiritual Experience -- Allowing Love to Open Your Heart -- A Flow of Love Into and Out of the Heart -- Why is Love So Powerful? -- When We Shut the Heart to Love -- Quarrelling Egos -- Jumping to Conclusions -- Words of Wisdom We Should Take to Heart -- Healing Exercise Eight - Are You Ready to Manage Your Ego and Put Your True Self in Charge? -- CHAPTER NINE: Resolving Disagreements -- Remembering What We Want From a Relationship -- Managing Conflicts Requires Managing Egos -- A Simple Request Coming from the Center of the Heart -- Kind Assertion Works Better Than Aggression or Passivity -- Listen With Your Third Ear -- Silent Signals Speak Volumes -- Ten Guidelines for Resolving Disagreements -- Commitment to Fair Fighting -- Uncovering the Invisible Contract -- Dialects of the Language of Love -- Gather the Family for Love and Healing -- When You Are Unable to Resolve Your Differences -- You Have to Open Your Own Egg -- Peace in Your Heart Can Ripple Around the World -- Healing Exercise Nine - How Has the Story of You and Someone With Whom You Have Conflicts Changed Since You Began This Book? -- APPENDIX -- Track the Progress You Have Made in Cleaning Out Your "Backpack" -- Practice Adding Qualities to Your Life.