front cover -- BIG STEPS FOR LITTLE PEOPLE: PARENTING YOUR ADOPTED CHILD -- Contents -- FOREWORDS BY DAVID HOWE AND -- PREFACE -- INTRODUCTION -- 1. BEING TAKEN INTO CARE -- 2. SETTLING IN -- Ground rules -- Ground rules for adults -- School -- Initial promises -- Food issues, rules and solutions -- Eat o'meter -- 3. SOME OF THE REALITIES OF SETTLING IN -- Behaviour charts -- Progress charts for school -- Reward 'nice' behaviour -- Praise/self-sabotage -- Schedule of daily routine -- Introducing rituals, creating consistency -- Mum time -- Family night -- 4. EARLY STEPS, CHORES AND TASKS -- Team work -- The loving step -- Early sex lessons -- Over-competitiveness -- Choice -- Peripheral vision -- Making friends -- Early lessons in time-keeping -- 5. THE GRIEVING PROCESS -- Coping with special occasions -- Contact -- Presents or no presents -- Considerations for contact -- 6. BRAIN DEVELOPMENT -- Stages of child development -- Brain wiring -- The wall round your heart -- All babies are born equal -- Games that encourage bonding and trust -- Distinctions -- Reframing -- The loving cup -- 7. FAMILY HISTORY -- Telling them the truth -- Therapy -- Life is like a book -- Looking at the birth parents' history -- Conditioned responses -- Forgiving the parents -- Breaking the pattern -- Circles of love -- Summary -- 8. DEALING WITH EMOTIONS -- Transposing -- Safe o'meter -- Effort o'meter -- Esteem o'meter -- Progress chart -- 9. DIFFERENT TYPES OF BEHAVIOUR -- Social difficulties -- Emotional difficulties -- Behavioural difficulties -- Developmental difficulties -- Dealing with difficult behaviour -- Anger -- Dealing with aggression aimed at you -- Dumping sessions -- Role play -- The vicious circle of behaviour -- Swearing -- 10. CONTROL ISSUES -- Consequences -- Choices and outcomes -- Time outs -- Being stuck -- Micro management.

11. DEALING WITH THE EFFECTS OF DIFFICULT BEHAVIOUR -- Support -- Berating ourselves -- Forgiving our parents -- Forgiving our children -- Take a holiday from worrying -- Mind maps -- Receiving compliments -- Appreciating mum -- Fly on the wall -- 12. GLIMMERS OF HOPE -- Two steps forward, one step back -- Triggers to Luke's old behaviours -- Adam's development -- Second child syndrome -- Using life as a frame of reference -- Luke's rules -- Luke's creed -- 13. BIG STEPS FORWARDS -- Coping with excitement -- Learning tips -- More sex lessons -- Communication and listening -- The power of language -- Guessing -- Influencing our moods/states -- Our preferred conditioned responses -- Confidence boosters -- 14. FINAL THOUGHTS -- APPENDIX -- INDEX.