Intro -- Cover -- Title Page -- Contents -- Foreword -- Hello, Young Mothers -- Paint Tint Caper--September 4, 1965 -- Birds, Bees and Guppies--January 6, 1966 -- Good Neighbor Policy--May 16, 1966 -- Waking Up Momma--July 4, 1966 -- When Last Child Goes to School--September 5, 1966 -- Surviving Motherhood--September 1966 -- Costume for the School Play--May 29, 1968 -- Outgrowing Naps--August 14, 1968 -- A Mother's Eye--August 18, 1968 -- No More Oatmeal Kisses--January 29, 1969 -- Confirmed Shouter--March 5, 1969 -- Youngest Child Tries to Tell a Joke--May 23, 1969 -- Are We Rich?"--June 3, 1971 -- When God Created Mothers--May 12, 1974 -- Motherhood--Love and Laughter--September 1974 -- How to Communicate with Toddlers--December 1974 -- The Twelve Days of School--September 1975 -- Things My Mother Taught Me" Assignment--September 28, 1975 -- A Baby's Bill of Rights--November 13, 1975 -- Happiness and Motherhood--April 24, 1980 -- Disposable Diapers--February 8, 1990 -- Spit--March 18, 1990 -- All My Children -- Children Cornering the Coin Market--January 5, 1965 -- My Son, the President--October 30, 1965 -- I Don't Want to Go to Grandma's"--May 1966 -- Going Deaf from Rock 'n' Roll--January 23, 1967 -- Daughter Learning to Drive--July 18, 1969 -- Phone Messages--October 22, 1969 -- Working Mom's Telephone Crisis--May 28, 1971 -- I've Always Loved You Best--July 20, 1971 -- Mike and the Grass--May 1973 -- Live-in Neighbor Child--September 30, 1973 -- Kids: Life's Greatest Mysteries--July 29, 1975 -- I Loved You Enough to...--January 6, 1976 -- Parents Get Apartment--June 6, 1976 -- Children Are Like Kites--May 15, 1977 -- Summertime Blues--August 3, 1978 -- Local or Toll Call Girlfriend?--February 1, 1979 -- Marching to a Different Drummer--November 3, 1979 -- Parenthood Is Worth the Risks--September 2, 1980 -- Favorite Child--May 10, 1981.

The First Day of School--September 3, 1981 -- Third Child--November 5, 1981 -- Mother-Son Dialogue--January 13, 1987 -- Different Mother for Each Child--June 26, 1990 -- Housewife's Lament -- Soap Operas--June 1, 1965 -- Lost Identity--September 18, 1965 -- When the Memory Starts to Go--June 9, 1967 -- Subversive Window Washer--September 29, 1967 -- Sewing-Basket Blues--November 21, 1969 -- Ironing--June 10, 1971 -- The Mother Who Drives--June 11, 1972 -- Making Paycheck Stretch--October 1972 -- A Housewife's Prayer--October 1974 -- Mom Last to Get Cold--October 16, 1975 -- I Was 37 Years Old at the Time"--August 7, 1976 -- Dumpy Paper Dress--March 31, 1977 -- Handbags--October 25, 1977 -- Bizarre Accidents--November 29, 1981 -- Turning into Mother--June 1, 1989 -- Love and Marriage -- Get Well for Mom--April 3, 1966 -- Cleaning Out the Attic--December 28, 1966 -- Interpreting the Checkbook--April 24, 1967 -- Men Have a Six-Word Limit--July 23, 1969 -- Car Hits a Tree--January 24, 1971 -- Daytime Husband, Nocturnal Wife--March 22, 1971 -- Keeping Track of Valuable Papers--June 1972 -- Husband Born Late--October 8, 1972 -- Husband Dreads Hammering Nails in the Wall--November 23, 1972 -- My Husband the Prince of Darkness--February 20, 1973 -- Husband Has Clothes for All Occasions--May 8, 1979 -- Jim Is Retired--May 19, 1985 -- My Social Life--November 3, 1985 -- Clippers--April 26, 1987 -- Car Heater--December 11, 1988 -- Husband Reads at Night--March 14, 1989 -- Husband Preempts His Christmas Gifts--December 10, 1992 -- Home Sweet Home -- Household Hints--September 11, 1965 -- The Home Handyman--January 18, 1966 -- The American Clothesline--April 20, 1967 -- Getting Locked Out--July 8, 1968 -- No Pencil in the House--February 17, 1969 -- The Husband Who Prunes--September 15, 1969 -- Garage Sales--June 6, 1971.

Relaxing with "Country Gardens"--October 26, 1975 -- Working Wife/Maid Communication--September 28, 1982 -- VCR--January 24, 1985 -- What Time Is It?"--November 2, 1986 -- Boston Fern--November 13, 1986 -- Repairmanese--March 3, 1988 -- Eyeglasses in Every Room--June 27, 1989 -- Weekends--March 15, 1990 -- Changing of the Closets--May 1, 1990 -- Swinging Was Respectable on Front Porch--September 22, 1994 -- Martha Stewart--September 27, 1995 -- Dear Old Dad -- When God Created Fathers--June 17, 1973 -- Consolidating Cereal, Ice Cream, Cookies, etc.--December 8, 1974 -- Stepfather--January 6, 1980 -- Daddy Doll Under the Bed--June 21, 1981 -- Speak "Thermostat"--December 19, 1982 -- New Generation of Fathers--June 21, 1987 -- Food for Thought -- The Instead-of Cookbook--November 4, 1965 -- Weight Watchers Dilemma--April 27, 1972 -- Burning Calories--August 18, 1974 -- Dinner Is Ready--May 24, 1977 -- Dieting Is a Losing Battle--March 21, 1978 -- Seven Days to Make Garbage--May 3, 1981 -- Thawing Hamburger--March 9, 1982 -- Fruitcake--December 11, 1986 -- Doggie Bags--August 25, 1987 -- Spices--July 26, 1988 -- Older People Only Talk about Food--May 24, 1990 -- Leftovers That Refuse to Die--December 17, 1991 -- Leftover Halloween Candy--December 1, 1994 -- Tooth Traps--June 4, 1995 -- The Empty Nest -- Daughter Returns to College--January 28, 1972 -- Picking Up the Tennis Ball--July 24, 1975 -- Empty Nest Overrated--October 1, 1978 -- Parents Covet Kids' Closets--August 9, 1979 -- Not to Worry"--July 15, 1984 -- My Son's Answering Machine--June 22, 1986 -- Remembering Children's Names and Ages--June 14, 1987 -- Kids Show Up for Dinner--July 19, 1990 -- Parent-Child Bonding--January 13, 1991 -- When Grown Kids Come to Visit--December 20, 1995 -- Special People -- Grandma and Funerals--November 20, 1968 -- Love Is a Grandparent--November 3, 1974.

The Volunteer--June 24, 1975 -- Mother Earned Her Wrinkles--February 8, 1976 -- The Listener--February 26, 1977 -- Mothers of Disabled Children--May 11, 1980 -- Heroes--August 2, 1981 -- Caregivers--November 26, 1991 -- Mothers Who Have Lost a Child--May 14, 1995 -- Wish You Were Here (Instead of Me) -- Help Thy Neighbor--August 25, 1968 -- Men Never Ask Directions--August 24, 1969 -- The Last Family Vacation--June 1972 -- Parking the Family Trailer--June 1972 -- Showing Slides of Vacation--February 26, 1974 -- Continental Breakfast--August 17, 1975 -- Elusive Rest Area--July 11, 1976 -- Seeing America by Headlights--September 16, 1980 -- Eleven-Piece Vacation Wardrobe--July 21, 1981 -- Traveling with Tripod--July 27, 1982 -- Alaska Cruise and Smoked Salmon--April 21, 1987 -- The Holidays -- Children of Christmas--December 25, 1969 -- Kids Are Sick...It Must Be Christmas--December 18, 1970 -- Family Christmas Newsletter--December 9, 1971 -- Christmas Chimes--December 23, 1976 -- Son Home for the Holidays?--January 2, 1977 -- Halloween Challenges "No Talent" Mother--October 30, 1979 -- Grandfather's Solitude--December 25, 1979 -- No One Diets on Thanksgiving--November 26, 1981 -- Love Is" List for a Gusto Husband--February 14, 1982 -- Thanksgiving and Families--November 25, 1982 -- Memory Tree--December 22, 1983 -- Christmas Newsletter Winner--December 12, 1985 -- Undecorating the Christmas Tree--January 1, 1987 -- Equal" Christmas Gifts--December 22, 1994 -- The Gang's All Here -- Entertaining--November 18, 1965 -- Mouse in the Pump Organ--January 13, 1971 -- My Husband Builds a Fire--December 1971 -- Come Casual"--April 1975 -- Party Hostess Loneliest Person in the World--September 1975 -- College Reunion--November 3, 1977 -- Trip to the Rest Room--October 25, 1979 -- Pepper Mill Experience--December 18, 1983 -- Grandma's Grudges--May 1, 1984.

Houseguests--August 6, 1985 -- Restaurant Conversation--October 20, 1985 -- Hors d'Oeuvres--December 5, 1985 -- Family Goodbyes--July 28, 1994 -- Planning Birthday Celebrations--November 8, 1994 -- Of Missing Socks, Promiscuous Hangers and Other Unexplained Phenomena -- Socks Lost in Washer--May 28, 1969 -- Girdles--May 18, 1970 -- Creeping Underwear--December 1972 -- Socks Still Lost in Washer--April 1, 1973 -- Pantskirt in the Rest Room--September 1973 -- Coat Hangers--September 18, 1984 -- No Luck with Pantyhose--November 10, 1985 -- Crockpot Sock--March 20, 1990 -- The Restless Car--October 1, 1995 -- The Catchall Drawer -- Talent--June 6, 1966 -- Even Charity Has Its Bounds--January 2, 1967 -- Time--November 17, 1971 -- Women Are Financial Giants--February 19, 1980 -- Junk Drawers--January 17, 1984 -- Box Savers--December 20, 1984 -- I'm-Not-Going Syndrome--October 28, 1986 -- Fashion Trends Pioneer--October 11, 1987 -- Shoulder Pads--December 1, 1988 -- Comfortable Shoes--September 14, 1989 -- Seize the Moment--June 25, 1991 -- Brain Capacity Is Limited--July 4, 1993 -- Let's Face It, Not All Ruts Need Repair--April 17, 1996 -- Tributes -- A Biography of Erma Bombeck -- Copyright.