Contents -- Acknowledgements -- Map of Norethern Ireland -- Glossary -- 1 The Troubles is my life -- 2 Multiple Bereavement and Loss -- 3 Serious Injury -- 4 Living with the Aftermath -- 5 Taking Up Arms -- 6 In the Minority -- 7 Loss of a Father -- 8 His Only Child -- 9 Unintended Death -- 10 All in a Day's Work -- 11 That was the last time I seen him -- 12 I don't ask God for anything -- 13 Just me and the kids -- 14 Rough Justice -- Conclusions -- Appendix -- Index -- Action for Peace, 100 -- Adams, Gerry, 99 -- anger -- 79-80 -- 106 -- 109 -- community, 80 -- Anglo-Irish Agreement 66 -- anniversaries 134-5 -- B Specials 98 -- Ballymurphy 20 -- barricades -- 21 -- 66 -- Belfast -- bin lids [rough music], 21 -- Divis Street, 20 -- Falls Road, 20 -- racism in, 90-1 -- Shankill Road, 20 -- Unity Flats, 20 -- Unity Flats, 26 -- Bloody Sunday -- 65 -- 100 -- bombs 53 -- Boyd, Iris 82-6 -- Castlereagh Interrogation Centre -- 25 -- 54-5 -- 69 -- Catholics, death rate 2 -- cease-fire -- Catholic view of, 118 -- optimism about, 86 -- pessimism about, 40-1 -- pessimism about, 129 -- Protestant view of, 71 -- childhood -- destroyed, 113-14 -- destroyed, 117-18 -- destroyed, 127 -- experiences of, 74 -- experiences of, 87 -- experiences of, 89-91 -- children -- as source of encouragement, 85 -- dependence on, 122 -- effect on, 17-18 -- fear for, 18 -- Chinese community, racism and 94-5 -- Chopra, Asha, death of 92-4 -- civil rights marches -- 63 -- 97 -- class, and impact of Troubles 133-4 -- Clements, David -- 74-81 -- murder of father, 76-8 -- murder of friend, 75-6 -- Clonard Fitzroy Fellowship 101 -- Coleraine 72 -- Commission of Racial Equality, in Belfast 91-2 -- community -- and identity, 97 -- relations with police, 41 -- compensation -- 30-1 -- denied, 16 -- denied, 121 -- discrepancy in levels of, 48.

limited, 37 -- limited, 93 -- limited, 127 -- work to improve, 78 -- Corrigan, Mairead 100 -- Corrymeela Community -- 97 -- 99-100 -- 101 -- Cost of the Troubles Study 1 -- counselling, lack of 84 -- court cases -- 13-14 -- 55-6 -- 69-70 -- cross-community activities -- 71 -- 72 -- damage to property -- 67 -- 85 -- 127 -- death rates, comparative 2 -- Derry Londonderry -- 72-3 -- 89-90 -- 91 -- Abercorn Road, 63 -- Irish Street Estate, 68 -- Protestant exodus from, 65-6 -- Protestant exodus from, 71 -- riots, 63 -- riots, 66-7 -- shootings, 66 -- the Fountain [Protestant enclave], 63 -- the Fountain [Protestant enclave], 66 -- the Fountain [Protestant enclave], 70-1 -- dirty protests 56-7 -- Disabled Police Officers Association -- 34 -- 35 -- discrimination -- racist, 94 -- religious, 94 -- dissociation from Troubles 134 -- Do You Know What's Happened? exhibition -- 3 -- 142 -- drink -- 106 -- 107 -- 109 -- 121-2 -- 129 -- Drumcree march 101 -- Dungannon, bomb 74 -- England -- as refuge, 13 -- as refuge, 27 -- as refuge, 130 -- racism in, 87 -- Equal Opportunities Commission -- 101 -- family relations, strained, 54 -- family relations, strained, 60 -- family relations, strained, 125-6 -- Faulkner, Brian 97 -- fear -- continuing, 38 -- continuing, 129 -- of further violence, 11 -- forgiveness -- 78-9 -- 136 -- Greysteel massacre 70 -- grief -- 23 -- 28-9 -- and wakes, 84 -- H-Blocks -- 55 -- dirty protests, 56-7 -- habituation to experiences 133 -- hatred of perpetrators -- 106 -- as short-term emotion, 16-17 -- none, 85-6 -- hatred, and racism 94 -- help -- family support, 24 -- family support, 28 -- lack of, 9 -- lack of, 13 -- lack of, 70 -- limited, 16 -- limited, 127 -- help, financial 17 -- hiding -- from paramilitaries, 124 -- from security forces, 54 -- hierarchy of experiences 132-3 -- Hughes, Brendan 59.

hunger strikes -- 57-62 -- 57-62 -- medical intervention, 61-2 -- physical effects of, 59-61 -- identity 96-7 -- illness, mental -- 46-50 -- 106-10 -- illness, physical -- epilepsy due to injury, 35-6 -- epilepsy due to injury, 38 -- induced by tragedy, 29 -- induced by tragedy, 70 -- Indian community 87-95 -- informers 27-8 -- injuries -- Alice Nocher, 11-13 -- from punishment beatings, 126 -- long-term, 34-40 -- INLA [Irish National Liberation Army] 114 -- insecurity 40 -- integration 72 -- internment -- 21 -- 68 -- interviewees -- consent, 3 -- consent, 140-1 -- coping strategies, 142-3 -- selection, 2 -- selection, 138-9 -- interviews -- 1-2 -- 141 -- confidentiality, 142 -- debriefing, 142-3 -- distress in, 141-2 -- feedback, 143 -- intimidation -- 9-10 -- 46 -- by paramilitaries, 23 -- IRA, Official 23 -- IRA, Provisional -- 23 -- 124 -- 125 -- 127-9 -- joining procedure, 51-3 -- jail, Crumlin Road 55 -- justice, doubts about -- 69 -- 100 -- Leylands, Isobel, shot dead 111-13 -- Limavady 72 -- Londonderry 64 -- McAllister, Jolene -- 111-18 -- death of aunt, 111-13 -- death of aunt, 114 -- death of brother, 114-15 -- death of cousin, 116-17 -- McElwee, Tom 61 -- McGuiness, Bel -- 119-22 -- death of husband, 119-21 -- McKeown, Lawrence 51-62 -- media -- interest in 'victims ', 4 -- interest in 'victims ', 136 -- role of, 72 -- memories, displacement of 132 -- mental breakdowns -- 14 -- 46-50 -- 105 -- 106-10 -- minorities, Indian 87-95 -- minority power 71 -- Monaghan -- 53 -- bomb, 82-4 -- Morrissey, Paul 103-10 -- murder of father 103-5 -- Newall, Rev Ken 101 -- nightmares -- 105 -- 111-13 -- 129 -- Nocher, Alice -- 7-19 -- court case, 13-14 -- death of brother, 7-9 -- death of husband, 14-15 -- shooting, 10-13 -- Northern Ireland -- O'Neill, Terence, 97 -- Troubles, 133 -- parades -- 71-2 -- 71-2.

and racism, 91 -- Drumcree march, 101 -- Unionist culture, 71 -- view of police, 68 -- paramilitaries 68 -- Parker, Rev Joe, and son Stephen 100 -- peace movements 100-1 -- physical effects -- 23-4 -- of shock, 12-13 -- police -- 41 -- Catholic view of, 117 -- Catholic view of, 118 -- Protestant view of, 68 -- Protestant view of, 98 -- searches, 21 -- searches, 71 -- policeman -- murder, 76-8 -- serious injury, 34-41 -- politics, importance of 101-2 -- prison officer, gun and grenade attack 42-50 -- Prison Officers Association 48 -- prisoners 57 -- property, damage to -- 67 -- 85 -- 127 -- proximity 132 -- public acknowledgement of loss 6 -- public, lack of awareness of consequences of violence 5 -- punishment beatings -- 115 -- 118 -- 123-30 -- 123-30 -- punishment shootings 32 -- Race Relations Act -- 91-2 -- 94 -- racism -- in England, 87 -- in England, 90 -- increasing, 94-5 -- limited in Northern Ireland, 87 -- limited in Northern Ireland, 90 -- Randalstown, bomb 53 -- Relatives Action Committee 22-3 -- revenge, suffering as motivation for 135 -- riots -- Belfast, 20 -- Belfast, 98 -- Derry Londonderry, 63 -- Derry Londonderry, 66-7 -- Royal Victoria Hospital, Belfast -- 97 -- 99 -- Rutherford, William 96-102 -- Sands, Bobby -- election, 58-9 -- hunger strike and death, 59 -- searches -- 21 -- 71 -- sectarian murders 32-3 -- security gates, Londonderry 66 -- Shankill bombing -- 70 -- 80 -- Shankill Butchers -- 21 -- 103 -- Shankill Road, riots [1970] 20-1 -- Sinn Fein Centre 127-8 -- soldiers [British] -- abuse from, 21 -- arrival in Northern Ireland, 21 -- St Patrick 's Training Centre -- 128 -- 129 -- strength, mental -- 18 -- 33 -- 70 -- 78 -- 107 -- 110 -- suffering, attitudes to 135-6 -- suicide attempts -- 107 -- 129 -- support groups -- 80-1 -- 122 -- Temple, William -- 63-73.

son arrested and remanded, 69-70 -- sons beaten, 67 -- sons beaten, 68-9 -- tension -- 21 -- 71 -- threats 46 -- tion of history 131 -- truth 4 -- UDA [Ulster Defence Association] 68 -- UDR [Ulster Defence Regiment]formation 51 -- UVF [Ulster Volunteer Force] 33 -- Valente, Margaret -- 20-33 -- death of brother-in-law, 23-4 -- death of daughter's boyfriend, 31-3 -- death of husband, 24-8 -- death of husband, 30 -- death of sister, 24 -- victims -- as moral beacons 135-6 -- media interest in, 4 -- media interest in, 136 -- vigilantes, Belfast 21 -- vigils, night, Unity Flats 26 -- Vij, Charlotte -- 87-95 -- murder of cousin, 92-4 -- murder of grandfather, 87-9 -- wakes 84 -- WAVE [support group] 80-1 -- welfare, professional -- 37 -- 50 -- Williams, Betty 100 -- Wilson, Gordon 136 -- Workers ' Strike [1974] 91.