LIFE ON THE MISSISSIPPI -- THE "BODY OF THE NATION" -- CONTENTS. -- CHAPTER I. -- The Mississippi is Well worth Reading about. -- It is Remarkable. -- Instead of Widening towards its Mouth, it grows Narrower. -- It Empties four hundred and six million Tons of Mud. -- It was First Seen in 1542. -- It is Older than some Pages in European History. -- De Soto has the Pull. -- Older than the Atlantic Coast. -- Some Half-breeds chip in. -- La Salle Thinks he will Take a Hand -- CHAPTER II. -- La Salle again Appears, and so does a Cat-fish. -- Buffaloes also. -- Some Indian Paintings are Seen on the Rocks. -- "The Father of Water" does not Flow into the Pacific. -- Not Early English. -- Natchez, or the Site of it, is Approached. -- CHAPTER III. -- A little History. -- Early Commerce. -- Coal Fleets and Timber Rafts -- We start on a Voyage. -- I seek Information. -- Some Music. -- The Trouble begins. -- Tall Talk. -- The Child of Calamity. -- Ground and lofty Tumbling. -- The Wash-up. -- Business and Statistics. -- Mysterious Band. -- Thunder and Lightening. -- The Captain speaks. -- Allbright weep. -- The Mystery settled. -- Chaff. -- I am Discovered. -- Some Artwork proposed. -- I give an Account of Myself. -- Released. -- CHAPTER IV. -- The Boys' Ambition. -- Village Scenes. -- Steamboat Pictures. -- A Heavy Swell. -- A Runaway. -- CHAPTER V. -- A Traveller. -- A Lively Talker. -- A Wild-cat Victim. -- CHAPTER VI. -- Besieging the Pilot. -- Taken along. -- Spoiling a Nap. -- Fishing for a Plantation. -- "Points" on the River. -- A Gorgeous Pilot-house -- CHAPTER VII. -- River Inspectors. -- Cottonwoods and Plum Point. -- Hat-Island Crossing. -- Touch and Go. -- It is a Go. -- A Lightning Pilot. -- CHAPTER VIII. -- A Heavy-loaded Big Gun. -- Sharp Sights in Darkness. -- Abandoned to his Fate. -- Scraping the Banks. -- Learn him or Kill him.

CHAPTER IX. -- Shake the Reef. -- Reason Dethroned. -- The Face of the Water. -- A Bewitching Scene. -- Romance and Beauty. -- CHAPTER X. -- Putting on Airs. -- Taken down a bit. -- Learn it as it is. -- The River Rising -- CHAPTER XI. -- In the Tract Business. -- Effects of the Rise. -- Plantations gone. -- A Measureless Sea. -- A Somnambulist Pilot. -- Supernatural Piloting -- Nobody there. -- All Saved. -- CHAPTER XII. -- Low Water. -- Yawl sounding. -- Buoys and Lanterns. -- Cubs and Soundings. -- The Boat Sunk. -- Seeking the Wrecked -- CHAPTER XIII. -- A Pilot's Memory. -- Wages soaring. -- A Universal Grasp. -- Skill and Nerve. -- Testing a "Cub." -- "Back her for Life." -- A Good Lesson -- CHAPTER XIV. -- Pilots and Captains. -- High-priced Pilots. -- Pilots in Demand. -- A Whistler. -- A cheap Trade. -- Two-hundred-and-fifty-dollar Speed. -- CHAPTER XV. -- New Pilots undermining the Pilots' Association. -- Crutches and Wages. -- Putting on Airs. -- The Captains Weaken. -- The Association Laughs. -- The Secret Sign. -- An Admirable System -- Rough on Outsiders. -- A Tight Monopoly. -- No Loophole -- The Railroads and the War. -- CHAPTER XVI. -- All Aboard. -- A Glorious Start. -- Loaded to Win. -- Bands and Bugles. -- Boats and Boats. -- Racers and Racing. -- CHAPTER XVII. -- Cut-offs. -- Ditching and Shooting. -- Mississippi Changes. -- A Wild Night. -- Swearing and Guessing. -- Stephen in Debt. -- He Confuses his Creditors. -- He makes a New Deal. -- Will Pay them Alphabetically -- CHAPTER XVIII. -- Sharp Schooling. -- Shadows. -- I am Inspected. -- Where did you get them Shoes? -- Poll her Down. -- I want to kill Brown. -- I try to run her. -- I am Complimented. -- CHAPTER XIX. -- A Question of Veracity. -- A Little Unpleasantness. -- I have an Audience with the Captain. -- Mr. Brown Retires. -- CHAPTER XX. -- I become a Passenger.

We hear the News. -- A Thunderous Crash. -- They Stand to their Posts. -- In the Blazing Sun. -- A Grewsome Spectacle. -- His Hour has Struck. -- CHAPTER XXI. -- I get my License. -- The War Begins. -- I become a Jack-of-all-trades. -- CHAPTER XXII. -- I try the Alias Business. -- Region of Goatees. -- Boots begin to Appear. -- The River Man is Missing. -- The Young Man is Discouraged. -- Specimen Water. -- A Fine Quality of Smoke. -- A Supreme Mistake. -- We Inspect the Town. -- Desolation Way-traffic -- A Wood-yard. -- CHAPTER XXIII. -- Old French Settlements. -- We start for Memphis. -- Young Ladies and Russia-leather Bags. -- CHAPTER XXIV. -- I receive some Information. -- Alligator Boats. -- Alligator Talk. -- She was a Rattler to go. -- I am Found Out. -- CHAPTER XXV. -- The Devil's Oven and Table. -- A Bombshell falls. -- No White-wash. -- Thirty Years on the River. -- Mississippi Uniforms. -- Accidents and Casualties. -- Two Hundred Wrecks. -- A Loss to Literature. -- Sunday-Schools and Brick Masons -- CHAPTER XXVI. -- War Talk. -- I Tilt over Backwards. -- Fifteen Shot-holes. -- A Plain Story. -- Wars and Feuds. -- Darnell versus Watson. -- A Gang and a Woodpile. -- Western Grammar. -- River Changes. -- New Madrid. -- Floods and Falls -- CHAPTER XXVII. -- Tourists and their Note-books. -- Captain Hall. -- Mrs. Trollope's Emotions. -- Hon. Charles Augustus Murray's Sentiment. -- Captain Marryat's Sensations. -- Alexander Mackay's Feelings. -- Mr. Parkman Reports. -- CHAPTER XXVIII. -- Swinging down the River. -- Named for Me. -- Plum Point again. -- Lights and Snag Boats. -- Infinite Changes. -- A Lawless River. -- What the Government does. -- The Commission Men and Theories. -- "Had them Bad." -- Jews and Prices. -- CHAPTER XXIX. -- Murel's Gang. -- A Consummate Villain. -- Getting Rid of Witnesses. -- Stewart turns Traitor.

I Start a Rebellion. -- I get a New Suit of Clothes. -- We Corer our Tracks. -- Pluck and Capacity. -- A Good Samaritan City. -- The Old and the New. -- CHAPTER XXX. -- A Melancholy Picture. -- On the Move. -- River Gossip. -- She Went by a-Sparklin'. -- Amenities of Life. -- A World of Mis-information -- Eloquence of Silence. -- Striking a Snag. -- Photographically Exact. -- Plank Side-walks. -- CHAPTER XXXI. -- Mutinous Language. -- The Dead-house. -- Cast-iron German and Flexible English. -- I get Myself Free. -- I Begin my Search. -- The Man with one Thumb. -- Red Paint and White Paper. -- He Dropped on his Knees -- Fright and Gratitude. -- I Fled through the Woods. -- A Grisly Spectacle. -- Shout, Man, Shout. -- A look of Surprise and Triumph. -- The Muffled Gurgle of a Mocking Laugh. -- How strangely Things happen. -- The Hidden Money. -- CHAPTER XXXII. -- Ritter's Narrative. -- A Question of Money. -- Napoleon. -- Somebody is Serious -- Where the Prettiest Girl used to Live. -- CHAPTER XXXIII. -- A Question of Division. -- A Place where there was no License. -- The Calhoun Land Company. -- A Cotton-planter's Estimate. -- Halifax and Watermelons. -- Jewelled-up Bar-keepers -- CHAPTER XXXIV. -- An Austere Man. -- A Mosquito Policy. -- Facts dressed in Tights. -- A swelled Left Ear. -- CHAPTER XXXV. -- Signs and Scars. -- Cannon-thunder Rages. -- Cave-dwellers. -- A Continual Sunday. -- A ton of Iron and no Glass. -- The Ardent is Saved. -- Mule Meat. -- A National Cemetery. -- A Dog and a Shell. -- Railroads and Wealth. -- Wharfage Economy. -- Vicksburg versus The "Gold Dust." -- A Narrative in Anticipation. -- CHAPTER XXXVI. -- The Professor Spins a Yarn. -- An Enthusiast in Cattle. -- He makes a Proposition. -- Loading Beeves at Acapulco. -- He wasn't Raised to it. -- He is Roped In. -- His Dull Eyes Lit Up. -- Four Aces, you Ass!.

He doesn't care for the Gores -- CHAPTER XXXVII. -- A Terrible Disaster. -- The "Gold Dust" explodes her Boilers. -- The End of a Good Man -- CHAPTER XXXVIII. -- Mr. Dickens has a Word. -- Best Dwellings and their Furniture. -- Albums and Music. -- Pantalets and Conch-shells. -- Sugarcandy Rabbits and Photographs -- Horse-hair Sofas and Snuffers -- Rag Carpets and Bridal Chambers -- CHAPTER XXXIX. -- Rowdies and Beauty. -- Ice as Jewelry. -- Ice Manufacture. -- More Statistics. -- Some Drummers. -- Oleomargarine versus Butter. -- Olive Oil versus Cotton Seed. -- The Answer was not Caught -- A Terrific Episode. -- A Sulphurous Canopy. -- The Demon of Var. -- The Terrible Gauntlet. -- CHAPTER XL. -- In Flowers, like a Bride. -- A White-washed Castle. -- A Southern Prospectus. -- Pretty Pictures. -- An Alligator's Meal -- CHAPTER XLI. -- The Approaches to New Orleans. -- A Stirring Street. -- Sanitary Improvements -- Journalistic Achievements. -- Cisterns and Wells. -- CHAPTER XLII. -- Beautiful Graveyards. -- Chameleons and Panaceas. -- Inhumation and Infection. -- Mortality and Epidemics. -- The Cost of Funerals -- CHAPTER XLIII. -- I Meet an Acquaintance. -- Coffins and Swell Houses. -- Mrs. O'Flaherty goes One Better. -- Epidemics and Embamming. -- Six hundred for a Good Case. -- Joyful High Spirits. -- CHAPTER XLIV. -- French and Spanish Parts of the City. -- Mr. Cable and the Ancient Quarter. -- Cabbages and Bouquets. -- Cows and Children. -- The Shell Road. -- The West End. -- A Good Square Meal. -- The Pompano. -- The Broom-Brigade. -- Historical Painting. -- Southern Speech. -- Lagniappe. -- CHAPTER XLV. -- "Waw" Talk. -- Cock-Fighting. -- Too Much to Bear. -- Fine Writing. -- Mule Racing -- CHAPTER XLVI. -- Mardi-Gras. -- The Mystic Crewe. -- Rex and Relics. -- Sir Walter Scott. -- A World Set Back. -- Titles and Decorations. -- A Change.

CHAPTER XLVII.