COVER -- ABOUT THE AUTHOR -- PREFACE -- BOOK ONE: YOUR ELEVEN-YEAR-OLD -- Introduction -- CHAPTER ONE: The eleven-year-old and school -- Starting secondary school. How parents can help. Thestrains of competition and refusal to go to school.Edward: feeling lost and deprived of identity. Learningand competition. Comparison with others. When to help.Parents' attitudes. School discipline: the uses of rules. -- CHAPTER TWO: Hobbies and interests -- Collecting, keeping pets, games. Games and character.Mark: playing out sibling rivalries. Enthusiasms andcrazes. Anne and her horse book. Reading-suspendingjudgment about the right choice of literature. Televisionand conversation. -- CHAPTER THREE: Family relationships -- Roles in the family. Claire: the strain of having to bealways good. Growing up within the family. The needfor privacy. -- CHAPTER FOUR: Discipline, encouragement, and protection -- Blaming other people's children and exporting antisocialtendencies. Questioning our own attitudes.Punishments. Criticism, encouragement and praise.Why children disobey. Steve-his part in representingthe school. How can we stop children doing thingswhich are harmful to them? -- CHAPTER FIVE: Gratitude, courtesy, and developing consideration for others -- Behaviour towards the rest of the family. Settingan example: genuine courtesy. Religion, where does it come in? Cheating with other children and at school.Margaret's divided mind and the significance of "playingfair". -- CHAPTER SIX: Your eleven-year-old and sex -- Curiosity about sex: a new shyness. Unspoken collusionin parents. Menstruation: Jenny and its prestige value.Masturbation and "wet dreams". Physical changes andappearance. -- CHAPTER SEVEN: The need for friends and for time to bealone.

Conformity with other children. Privacy and the 'grownup world' of school. Family conflicts and friendships outsidethe family. Elsie's parents become a couple again. -- CHAPTER EIGHT: Some eleven-year-olds in difficulty -- Persistence of childish behaviour. Bed-wetting: Davidexpresses an anger he does not know he feels. Laziness:Christopher and his mother's inadequate side. Trying tounderstand the child's behaviour difficulties. Robert andpremature responsibilities. -- BOOK TWO: YOUR TWELVE-FOURTEEN-YEAR-OLD -- Introduction -- CHAPTER ONE: Relationships between parents and teachers -- Encouraging your young adolescent's grown-up self.Taking sides. Rachel: collision with the school. -- CHAPTER TWO: Enjoying school, expanding interests, andcoping with competition -- Nicola: discovering a personal history. Help with homework.Work pressures at school. The effect of parents'attitudes to success. Facing up to failure. Ups and downsin feelings about school. Atmosphere at home. Work andcompetition. -- CHAPTER THREE: School, home, and work -- Thinking about the future-feeling your way imaginatively.Robert: fabricating an answer. -- CHAPTER FOUR: Hobbies and interests -- Play and its meaning. Reading and TV. The pleasures ofdiscussion. Marion's class: free-for-all or playing withideas? -- CHAPTER FIVE: Family relationships -- Rivalry goes on. Brothers and sisters -- can they harm eachother's personality? -- CHAPTER SIX: Discipline, encouragement, and protection -- The help of parental discipline. William: asking for saferparents. The importance of encouragement. Rules, regulationsand punishment. Pocket money: respect for thechild's contribution. -- CHAPTER SEVEN: Courtesy and consideration for others -- Courtesy is mutual. Aggression and timorousness.Courtesy as an inward growth. -- CHAPTER EIGHT: Your young teenager and sex.

Menstruation. Adam: a case of delayed puberty. Adolescents'theories about sex. Masturbation. Sex in books, Menstruation. Adam: a case of delayed puberty. Adolescents' theories about sex. Masturbation. Sex in books, -- CHAPTER NINE: Friends -- Ups and downs in friendship. Fighting and feeling one'sown qualities. -- CHAPTER TEN: Bad companions -- The expression of long hidden aggression. The pull to belike the rest. The bad influence: the wish to be blamedand absolved. Stealing as stealing from mother. -- BOOK THREE: YOUR TEENAGER -- Introduction -- CHAPTER ONE: The teenager at school -- Can parents help in the school? Providing special helpoutside school. Can you act as tutor yourself? Preparingthe ground by being a learner too. Learning with friends.Making use of the teacher. Irene and the art teacher.Sharing knowledge. Getting things into the open. On notseeing eye-to-eye. Objectives with which we can allagree. The teenager enters the adult world. The teenagerimpinges on his parents' world. Speaking well. Whenour child does better than his parents. -- CHAPTER TWO: Work and further education -- Growth continues, learning continues. Who decides? Adecision can be modified. Anxieties about work.Conflicting expectations. Parental pressures. The loss offriends. Feelings exist, though unexpressed. Helpingtowards independence. Being-and feeling-understood.Seeing ourselves as others see us. On givingadvice. Time for thought. -- CHAPTER THREE: Leisure interests and activities -- After the party. "Will you come and join the dance?"Recreations and their meanings. Adolescent drivingand road safety. Recreation as an escape. Recreation asre-creation. -- CHAPTER FOUR: Family relationships.

On being parents of teenagers. Disappointment withone's children. Parents can help each other adjust to theirfamily's growing-up. Ateenage girl's view of her parents'marriage. How attitudes to parents change. Recoveryfrom disillusionment. From parental discipline to self-discipline.Rosalind: undesirable friendships. Changing relationshipsbetween brothers and sisters. Joanne and Lisa:teenage sisters. -- CHAPTER FIVE: The teenager and society -- Teenage rebellion. Politics in the family. Society and theinternal wars. Idealization of other societies. Julia: flightto another country. Searching for a cause. Richard: flightto apathy and daydreams. The antisocial teenager -- CHAPTER SIX: Sex and love -- The basis of sex enjoyment. Identification with theparents' marriage. The boy's sexuality. The sexual developmentof the girl. Worries about appearance. Attitudesto babies. Abortion. The permissive society. Preparationfor sex and parenthood. Matthew: teenage infatuation.Elizabeth: disappointment in love. -- CHAPTER SEVEN: Towards finding an identity and livingcreatively -- Creativity. Changing attitudes. Introspection and relatingto others. The struggle to find an identity. First identifications.Trying to be sincere. Identity realized in workand marriage. Fleeing from oneself. Jeremy. Flight todrugs. Jane: changing and resolving identifications.Learning to be more objective. Teenage impatience andpanic about wasted time. Fear of the envy of parents andthe grown-up world. Conquering fears of a malign fate. -- APPENDIX I: Martha Harris's philosophy of education -- APPENDIX II: Extracts from A Psychoanalytic Modelof the Child-in-the-Family-in-the-Community -- APPENDIX III: Mattie as Educator -- INDEX.