Cover -- Title Page -- Copyright -- Contents -- The Real James Bond -- Can the Cinematic Bond Ever Be the Literary Bond? -- The Sexual Subtext of 007 -- "Bland . . . James Bland" -- The Spy Who Would Not Die -- Interlude: Drink Like Bond -- The James Bond Debates -- What Is the Best Bond Movie? Bonding By the Numbers . . . -- What Are the Best and Worst Gadgets from Q Branch? DON'T PRESS THAT BUTTON! -- Who Is the Sexiest Bond Girl? "My Name Is Coochie McPantsless, What's Yours?" -- Who Is the Best Bond Villain? If I Were a Villain, But Then Again, No -- Who Is the Best James Bond? Dalton's Gang -- Interlude: Eat Like Bond -- How to Make James Bond Your Bitch -- Chinks in the Armor -- Agent 007 Performance Review -- So You Want to Be an Evil Genius -- "I knew Julius No. Julius No was a friend of mine. Osama, you are no Dr. No." -- Interlude: Dress Like Bond -- James Bond in the 21st Century -- Why Do We Still Want to Be James Bond? -- Nobody Does It Better -- "An Englishman's Word Is His Bond" -- Covalent Bonds -- James Bond: Now More Than Ever -- Acknowlegments.