Front Cover -- Title Page -- Also by Alan Wolfelt -- About Companion Press -- Half Title -- Copyright -- Dedication -- Contents -- Introduction -- 100 Ideas -- 1. Give yourself permission to mourn -- 2. Understand the difference between grief and mourning -- 3. Remember that love never ends -- 4. Allow for numbness -- 5. Be compassionate with yourself -- 6. Be compassionate with your children, your spouse, and all the family members grieving this death -- 7. Be compassionate with your surviving grandchildren -- 8. Be aware that your grief affects your body, heart, social self, mind, and spirit -- 9. Expect to have a multitude of feelings -- 10. Understand the six needs of mourning Need #1: Acknowledge the reality of the death -- 11. Understand the six needs of mourning Need #2: Embrace the pain of the loss -- 12. Understand the six needs of mourning Need #3: Remember the child who died -- 13. Understand the six needs of mourning Need #4: Develop a new self-identity -- 14. Understand the six needs of mourning Need #5: Search for meaning -- 15. Understand the six needs of mourning Need #6: Receive ongoing support from others -- 16. Know that grief does not proceed in orderly, predictable "stages" -- 17. Take an inventory -- 18. Take good care of yourself -- 19. Let go of destructive myths about grief and mourning -- 20. Help your child… -- 21. …and get help for yourself -- 22. Create a sacred space in your home -- 23. Use your grandchild's name -- 24. Tell the story, over and over again if you feel the need -- 25. Be a good listener -- 26. Don't say this -- 27. Say this instead -- 28. Learn about the Compassionate Friends -- 29. If you feel helpless, talk about it -- 30. If you feel guilty, talk about it -- 31. If you feel angry, talk about it -- 32. Understand the role of "linking objects" -- 33. Pay attention to your body language.

34. Talk to other grieving grandparents -- 35. If you are alone… -- 36. Find a grief "buddy" -- 37. Offer practical help -- 38. Offer your presence -- 39. Adopt someone -- 40. Be aware of other griefs you may be carrying -- 41. Wear a symbol of mourning -- 42. Express your faith -- 43. Think young -- 44. Give something away -- 45. Organize a memory book -- 46. Make a shadow box or memory quilt -- 47. Be open with your child -- 48. Be aware of the pressure cooker phenomenon -- 49. Draw on your wisdom -- 50. Go easy on people who say stupid things -- 51. Look into support groups -- 52. See a counselor -- 53. Get to know your grandchild -- 54. Befriend the other grandparents -- 55. Give to the cause -- 56. Keep a journal -- 57. Arrange for a family photo -- 58. Prepare to answer "The Question" -- 59. Visit the cemetery -- 60. Start a new tradition -- 61. Break a bad habit -- 62. Meet your grandchild in "thin places" -- 63. Plan a ceremony -- 64. Move beyond any bad feelings about the funeral -- 65. Celebrate Grandparent's Day -- 66. Make your grandchild's favorite meal -- 67. Tell your grandchildren your life stories -- 68. Break the rules -- 69. Say what you need to say -- 70. Be mindful of anniversaries -- 71. Visit the great outdoors -- 72. Watch for warning signs -- 73. Update your will -- 74. Move -- 75. Listen to the music -- 76. Laugh -- 77. Cry -- 78. Pray -- 79. Avoid saying "should" -- 80. Steady the keel -- 81. Write a thank-you note -- 82. Write a letter to your grandchild -- 83. Write letters to be read on a future date -- 84. Remember others who had a special relationship with your grandchild -- 85. Don't be alarmed by "griefbursts" -- 86. Mend fences -- 87. Get a new perspective -- 88. Start, renew, or give away a collection -- 89. Practice random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty.

90. Redefine what being a grandparent means to you -- 91. Take things one day at a time -- 92. Take a chance -- 93. Imagine the grandchild who died in heaven -- 94. Establish a memorial fund or scholarship in the name of your grandchild -- 95. Reassess your priorities -- 96. Leave a legacy -- 97. Live for your grandchild -- 98. Understand the concept of "reconciliation" -- 99. Live each day like it's your last -- 100. Embrace the ways in which you are growing through grief -- A Final Word -- The Mourner's Code -- Back Cover.