Front Cover -- Title Page -- Half Title -- Copyright -- Dedication -- Contents -- Introduction -- 100 Ideas -- 1. Embrace your need and right to grieve -- 2. Mourn your loss -- 3. Use the words that feel right to you -- 4. Understand the six needs of mourning: Need 1 Acknowledge the reality of this loss -- 5. Understand the six needs of mourning: Need 2 Embrace the pain of the loss -- 6. Understand the six needs of mourning: Need 3 Remember what happened -- 7. Understand the six needs of mourning: Need 4 Develop a new self-identity -- 8. Understand the six needs of mourning: Need 5 Search for meaning -- 9. Understand the six needs of mourning: Need 6 Receive ongoing support from others -- 10. Allow for numbness -- 11. Consider yourself in emotional intensive care -- 12. Know there is no order to grief -- 13. Keep a journal -- 14. Share the experience of the miscarriage itself -- 15. Find ways to make peace with the disposition -- 16. Be compassionate with your partner -- 17. Be loving toward your children -- 18. If you've had infertility problems, know that this will complicate your grief -- 19. If you've had more than one miscarriage, seek extra support -- 20. If you or your partner were ambivalent about the pregnancy, know that this can complicate your grief -- 21. Cry -- 22. Designate a time to mourn each day -- 23. Understand when others say, "I'm sorry" -- 24. Take time off work -- 25. If you feel guilty, find ways to express it -- 26. If you feel angry, find ways to express it -- 27. If you feel envious, find ways to express it -- 28. If you feel afraid, find ways to express it -- 29. If you feel disappointed, find ways to express it -- 30. Just be -- 31. Open your heart -- 32. Remember: One day at a time -- 33. Understand what it means to be traumatized -- 34. Make an inventory of survival strategies -- 35. Relinquish control.

36. Be patient -- 37. Let go of destructive misconceptions about grief and mourning -- 38. Wear a symbol of mourning -- 39. Know there are no bad days, only "necessary" days -- 40. Reach out to others who truly understand your pain -- 41. Believe in your capacity to heal -- 42. Empower yourself with information -- 43. Move toward your grief, not away from it -- 44. Give attention to your relationship -- 45. Expect to have whirlwind emotions -- 46. Talk about grief and mourning -- 47. Turn to ceremony -- 48. Acknowledge the multitude of losses -- 49. Watch for warning signs -- 50. Identify someone you can count on -- 51. Set boundaries -- 52. Prepare to answer uncomfortable questions -- 53. Share your story -- 54. Talk to your baby -- 55. Ignore hurtful advice -- 56. Take care of you -- 57. Make sleep a priority -- 58. Honor what your body needs -- 59. Reach out and touch -- 60. Trust that you're not going crazy -- 61. If you're having dreams about the baby, share them with someone close to you -- 62. Create a personal sanctuary just for you -- 63. Trust in yourself -- 64. Let go of tension with a sigh -- 65. Protect yourself from negativity -- 66. Learn something new -- 67. Find help online -- 68. Remember, even rocks crumble with too much weight -- 69. Find the words in music -- 70. Find ways to honor this baby -- 71. Volunteer -- 72. Tell someone you love her -- 73. Acknowledge when you are feeling lost -- 74. Allow for unfinished business -- 75. Simplify -- 76. Prepare yourself for the holidays -- 77. Demonstrate your faith -- 78. Ground your thoughts with a touchstone -- 79. Communicate with your partner about your sex life -- 80. Write a letter to your higher power -- 81. Don't be caught off-guard by griefbursts -- 82. Expect grief at milestones -- 83. Understand the concept of reconciliation -- 84. Get away from it all.

85. Think about what comes next -- 86. Move your grief to gratitude with yoga -- 87. Bring in more light -- 88. Laugh -- 89. Take in the sun -- 90. Express your grief through art -- 91. Contemplate the universe -- 92. Express your child-like self -- 93. When and if either of you is ready, talk with your partner about trying again -- 94. Reunite and reconnect -- 95. Envision -- 96. Reconfigure your life -- 97. Be purposeful in everything you do -- 98. Share what you've learned -- 99. Say goodbye -- 100. Embrace your transformation -- A Final Word -- Resources -- The Mourner's Code -- Back Cover.