Alma Mutter -- DarkerCountry -- Final Chapter -- 11.2.04 -- Welcome to Afghanistan -- Weirdoes, Writers,and theQuarter-Life Crisis -- Goodbye Soul, Hello Bacon -- Hailing a Cab -- How I Became a Bed-Maker -- How to Get a Job and Survive the QLC with -- Dignity, Honor, and -- the American Way -- Afterlife -- The 21st Mile -- I Was a World-ClassDruggie -- Non-Babe inPornland -- Raised in a Zoo -- Listen to theSounds of theHouse -- My Father's Mid-Life Crisis -- Let There Be Cohabitation -- Salvation in Wordplay -- Mary's Bed -- The Ring -- Biographies.