Team-Spirited Parenting -- Contents -- Preface -- Acknowledgments -- 1 Make Peace with the Past: The First Principle -- What Every Good Parent Wants -- Step One: Connect to the Power of Your Memories -- Step Two: Sort Out Your Issues -- Step Three: Look for Positives -- Step Four: Unpack the Baggage from Your Parents' Divorce -- Step Five: Listen Carefully to the Voices on Your Message Tape -- Step Six: Erase the Negative Messages -- Step Seven: Reassess Your Parenting Approach -- Step Eight: Talk to Your Children about Your Past -- Living the First Principle -- 2 Make Peace with Your Partner: The Second Principle -- Getting in Sync -- How Is Your Parent-to-Parent Relationship Affecting Your Child? -- Do You Believe That Mother Knows Best? -- Do You Think That Father Knows Best? -- Are You Divided by Spiritual Faith? -- Is Your Parenting Style Competitive? -- Are You "Parallel Parenting"? -- Are You Ever the Martyr? -- Do You Sabotage Your Partner? -- Are You the Insecure Teammate? -- Are You Divorced or Separated? -- Are You the Parent Who Works a Lot? -- How Compassionate Are You? -- Do You Know How to Give and Take Criticism? -- When to Seek Professional Help -- Living the Second Principle -- 3 Communicate Compassionately: The Third Principle -- Couple Communication Skills -- Understand Your Different Communication Styles -- Master the Art of Assertive Communication -- Seven Golden Rules of Communication -- What Your Children Are Telling You -- Family Communication Skills -- Teaching Children to Listen -- Encouraging Compassionate Communication -- Living the Third Principle -- 4 Reach Out to Your Village: The Fourth Principle -- The Team Beyond Your Doorstep -- How to Ask for Help -- Rediscover Your Village -- Reach Out to Extended Family Members -- Reach Out to Friends -- Reach Out to Your Community -- Reach Out to Your Religious Leader.

Reach Out to Your Child's School -- School Is Not for Moms Only -- Reach Out at Work -- Living the Fourth Principle -- 5 Direct Your Child 's Behavior: The Fifth Principle -- The Goals of Positive Discipline -- Are You a Good Model of the Behavior You Want for Your Child? -- Eleven Easy Rules for More Positive Discipline -- What to Expect at Every Age -- Are You and Your Partner on the Same Discipline Team? -- What's Your Personal Discipline Style? -- What's Your Team Discipline Style? -- Eight More Winning Discipline Techniques -- Handling the "Problem" Child -- When to Seek Professional Help -- The Gender Factor -- Negative Lessons of Physical Punishment -- Time-out for Parents -- Living the Fifth Principle -- 6 Nurture the Sibling Bond: The Sixth Principle -- The Positive Side of Rivalry -- How Does Sibling Rivalry Get Started? -- The Role of Age Differences -- How Do Your Children Actually Get Along? -- When to Seek Professional Help -- Seven Recommendations for Reducing Rivalry -- Growing Away from Rivalry -- The Trap of Favoritism: Try Not to Make It Worse -- Embrace Your Stepchildren -- Eleven Ways to Strengthen the Sibling Bond -- Living the Sixth Principle -- 7 Acknowledge Peer Pressure: The Seventh Principle -- The Power of Peer Pressure -- How Peer Pressure Starts -- Handling Peer Pressure at Every Age -- The Gender Factor -- Dealing with Prejudice and Interracial Friendships -- Dealing with Sex -- Dealing with Violence and Aggression -- Separating Out Your Feelings from Your Child's Feelings -- Teaching Your Child about Friendship and Fitting In -- Guiding Children toward More Positive Relationships -- Relating to Your Child's Friends -- How to Talk about Peer Pressure with Your Child -- Giving Your Child Basic Communication Tools -- When You Should Worry -- How to Handle Passing Fads -- Defining Positive Role Models.

Living the Seventh Principle -- 8 Allow Time for Spirituality and Joy: The Eighth Principle -- Draw from Spirituality -- Acknowledge Your Family's Spiritual Needs -- "Mixed" Partnerships -- Ten Ways to Teach Your Children about Faith -- Simple Spiritual Messages for Children -- Simple Religious Messages for Children -- Simple Fun -- What's the Rush? Slow Down -- Set Aside Parent Time -- The Value of Family Meetings -- Learn to Manage Anger Together -- Celebrations and Reunions: The Power of Making Memories Together -- Living the Eighth Principle -- Index.