Contents -- Dedication & Acknowledgments -- Introduction -- Top Ten Cleveland Rookie Seasons -- Ten False Saviors -- All of Cleveland's Professional Teams: Then and Now -- LeBron's Top Five All-Time NBA Passers -- Deconstructing LeBron: King James' 14 Top TVCommercials (2003-2007) -- My Toughest Opponents -- Ten Steelers Who Were a Pain in the Ass -- Top Ten Glenville High School Football Players -- The Top 13 Football Players at Benedictine -- The Best Players At Each Position That I Ever Saw -- The Eleven Worst Indians' Trades-Post World War II -- My Top Ten Cleveland Sports Memories -- Five Reasons to Like Soccer -- Bill's Five Dumb Things About Soccer -- My Top Ten Cavaliers Players -- Five Things Bill Doesn't Get About the Cavaliers -- My Top Ten Indians Players of All Time -- The Ten Most Hated Baseball Players -- My Top Ten Browns Games -- Ten Lame Things Done by Browns' Personnel -- Hell's Belle: A 19-Part Tabloid Tribute to Albert Belle -- A Half-Dozen Pieces of Enduring Wisdom from Satchel Paige -- Top Ten Cleveland Professional Boxers -- Top Ten Fights I Promoted -- Seven Beautiful Actresses From Cleveland -- Top 20 Movie Lines That Could Have Been Talking About Cleveland -- The 20 Best Tribe Nicknames -- The Ten Best Cavs Nicknames -- The Ten Best Browns Nicknames -- Bernie's Top Five Browns Memories -- Top Five Cleveland State Basketball Players -- The Top Five Mid-Atlantic Conference (MAC) Players Who Played in the Basketball Tourney at The Gund/Q -- Bubba's Top Nine Barbecuing Tips -- Cleveland's Top Ten Sports Bars -- Party Names: Six Guys You'd Want to Party With -- This Bud's for You: 13 Area Sports Guys Nicknamed "Bud" or "Buddy" -- Top Ten Cavs Games I Called -- Top Ten Lame Things Done by Cavaliers Players -- Top Ten St. Ignatius High School Football Players -- Top 12 St. Edward High School Football Players.

My Top Ten Indians Games -- Five Things Other Than Rain That Stopped Indians' Games -- The Worst Cleveland Sports Injuries -- If Only They Could Have Played -- My Top Five NASCAR Drivers -- The Top Five Cleveland Grand Prix -- My Favorite Browns Players -- My Favorite Ohio State Players -- The Top Ten Cleveland Pro Coaches -- A Baker's Dozen Cleveland Coaches Who Became Famous Elsewhere -- Top Ten Reasons Why the "Genius" Labe l Didn't Stickto Bill Belichick in Cleveland -- Ten Teeny-Tiny Butch Davis Mistakes -- Top Ten Cleveland Defeats -- The Twelve Funniest Cleveland Comedians -- Top Ten Lame Things Done by Indians' Personnel -- Bob Feller's Nine Toughest Hitters -- Top Ten Figures in Cleveland Hockey History -- Bill's Five Crummy Things About the NHL -- My Top Five Memories of the 2004 Athens Olympics -- Top Five Reasons the Summer Olympics Beat the Slush Off the Winter Ones -- Top Ten Places Clevelanders Take Out-of-Town Guests to Eat -- My Top Ten Best Area Hot Dogs in Cleveland -- Five Lessons From Cleveland's All-Star Games -- Top 15 Superstitious Players, Coaches and Managers -- Five Players Who Were a Pleasure to Coach -- Five Players Who Were A Challenge to Coach -- The Seven Toughest Cornerbacks I Faced -- My Five Toughest Centers to Play Against -- Top Ten Shoulda's (1980 and Later) -- Nicknames That Shoulda' Made It -- A Baker's Dozen of Memorable Quotes by Cleveland Sports Figures -- Ten Examples of Charley Manuel Dexterity -- My 14 Favorite Indians Players -- My 12 Most Hated Yankees -- Top Five Herb Score Memories -- Ten Inexactly Expressed Sentiments from Herb Score -- Top Ten Revolting Developments Since 1964 -- Top 18 Names That Sound Dirty, But Really Aren't -- The Dean's List: Greg's Ten Classiest Clevel and Sports Figures -- Ten Nicknames That Weren't Complimentary -- My Top Cavs Memories.

Bill's Answers to Five Common Slurs on the NBA -- Your Name's Your Game: Seven Guys With Names That Matched Their Professions -- Not the Best Names for Sports: Seven Guys With Names That Created Mismatches -- The Ten Best Things About Major League -- Problems with Major League -- Top Ten Movies Shot in Cleveland -- Ten Platters That Matter -- My Toughest Opponents -- Top Ten Indoor Soccer Players -- Top Five Local Golfers -- Top Ten Cleveland Area Golf Courses -- The All-Time Cleveland Track Team -- The 11 Fastest Men I Ever Saw -- Ten Names That Require Spell Check -- Stop the Insanity: Seven New Rules for "Namecalling" -- A Dozen Cleveland Sports Mascots -- Top 11 Most Hated Basketball Players -- Five Things Bill Doesn't Get About the Browns -- Five Things Bill Doesn't Get About Jim Tressel -- Five Things Bill Doesn't Get About the Indians -- Bill's Six Inconvenient Truths About Baseball -- My Top Skaters -- Top Ten Cleveland Bowlers -- Eleven Defunct Cleveland Sports Teams -- Eleven Things You Didn't Know About the Cleveland Rams -- Martydumb: Five Stupid Quotes From Marty Schottenheimer -- Formations Innovations From the Wily Schottenheimer -- Cleveland Sports Countdown -- A Baker's Dozen Who Came Out of Nowhere -- Ten Most Hated Non-Players -- Ten Best Sportswriters in Cleveland Since 1980 -- Railbird Roberts' All-Time Top Ten Ohio-bred Thoroughbreds -- Ten Most Hated Opposing Football Players and Coaches -- Not That Guy: 21 Sports Figures With Names That Make Them Easy to Confuse With Somebody Else -- A Dozen Names That Are Just Fun -- My Five Favorite Browns Players -- LeBron's Ten Favorite Teams -- The Ten Best Local Sports Things That Aren'ton Other Lists -- The Dean's List: The Browns' 12 (10 Just Won't Cut It) Worst Draft Picks Since 1970 -- The Dean's List: Ten Best Indians' Trades Since World War II.

The Dean's List: The Dozen Worst Cavs' First-Round Draft Picks -- The Dean's List: Ten Players Who Showed Up in Cleveland with Little Left in Their Tanks -- The Dean's List: Cleveland's Best Play-by-Play Announcers -- Ten All-Time Favorite Browns Players -- My Five Least Memorable Interviews -- The Dean's List: Top Ten Local Radio Personalities -- The Top Ten Things I Miss About Cleveland -- Groups That Can't Keep Meeting Like This -- The 10 Best Seasons Cleveland Athletes Ever Had -- The Top 100 Athletes from the Cleveland Area.