Praise -- Title Page -- Dedication -- PREFACE -- MIDLIFE -- Introduction -- ONE - GOOGLE & AMBIEN -- TWO - DEAD FATHER -- THREE - SPAS -- FOUR - SHOE DATING -- FIVE - WRITING A NOVELLA -- SIX - MA, MOM, MOTHER, BEA- Florida-Part 1 -- SEVEN - THANK YOU, FUCK YOU, a.k.a. fuck you very much -- EIGHT - MARRYING GEORGE CLOONEY -- NINE - O MAGAZINE OH MAGAZINES OH GOD . . . MAGAZINES -- TEN - SECRETS & JUNK DRAWERS -- ELEVEN - OUR LADY OF PERPETUAL SHOPPING -- TWELVE - TV MOGUL TIME -- THIRTEEN - WGOD- Mom-Part 2 -- FOURTEEN - HIT THE ROAD, JACK -- FIFTEEN - GREAT SEX -- SIXTEEN - SCARY, SCARY NIGHT -- SEVENTEEN - MA BELL- Mom-Part 3 -- EIGHTEEN - DIRTY, DIRTY LAUNDRY -- NINETEEN - AT PEACE IN MY TUB IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT -- TWENTY - BITTER WITH A SIDE OF FRIES -- TWENTY-ONE - THE BIPOLAR EXPRESS -- TWENTY-TWO - RAGTIME -- TWENTY-THREE - TRAILER PARKS & TORNADOES -- TWENTY-FOUR - WHELMED (NOT OVER, NOT UNDER) -- TWENTY-FIVE - HELLO DARKNESS, MY OLD FRIEND -- TWENTY-SIX - HOW HIS GARDEN GROWS -- TWENTY-SEVEN - THE CAT IN THE BOX -- TWENTY-EIGHT - A BURNING QUESTION -- TWENTY-NINE - ROUND AND ROUND WE GO -- THIRTY - MOTHERLESS CHILD -- THIRTY- ONE - THE NEW YAWKER -- THIRTY-TWO - I WALK THE FOG LINE -- THIRTY-THREE - BABY BOOMER-RANG -- THIRTY-FOUR - JUST SAY NO -- THIRTY-FIVE - iMOVIE POSTERS -- THIRTY-SIX - THE NAKED CITY -- THIRTY-SEVEN - KATHY -- THIRTY-EIGHT - 9½ YEARS a.k.a. the 3:47 AM Blues -- THIRTY-NINE - THE NO JOY LUCK CLUB -- FORTY - NEW GIRLS ON THE BLOCK -- FORTY-ONE - OH, MY -- FORTY-TWO - I HEAR NOISES -- FORTY-THREE - "GET OUT OF MY FACE" BOOK -- FORTY-FOUR - THE NEWPORT WOMAN -- FORTY-FIVE - THE WHETHER OR NOT CHANNEL -- FORTY-SIX - UH, OH -- FORTY-SEVEN - MOM- The Beginning of the End -- FORTY-EIGHT - BUDDHA-FULL -- FORTY-NINE - CHAIN, CHAIN, CHAIN . . . Chain (Letter) of Fools -- FIFTY - A CASE OF YOU -- FIFTY-ONE - HELLO?.

FIFTY-TWO - HOW MY GARDEN GROWS -- FIFTY-THREE - I CAN'T SLEEP -- FIFTY-FOUR - DEAR JOHN (AMY) -- FIFTY-FIVE - OH, HAPPY DAY -- FIFTY-SIX - FOOD COURT -- FIFTY-SEVEN - CONNECTING THE DOTS -- FIFTY-EIGHT - THE FINISH LINE -- FIFTY-NINE - POST (MENOPAUSAL) SCRIPT -- EPILOGUE -- Acknowledgements -- ABOUT THE AUTHOR -- Selected Titles from Seal Press -- Copyright Page.