Contents -- Introduction -- To the Headmaster of Selhurst School, concerning the redirection of mail -- To the Master of Marlborough College, on the engineering of Royal visits -- To Mr Shaw, about 'A Clarion Call to Youth' -- To Sir William Reid Dick, concerning the Founder's statue -- To the Headmaster of Rugby, some wise and friendly advice -- To the Headmaster of Sherborne, on the lawless behaviour of his boys -- To the Headmaster of Charterhouse, about membership of the Headmasters' Conference -- To the Headmaster of Stowe, some questions on sex education -- To the Headmaster of the Oratory, with a view to sticking the Government for compensation -- To Sir Giles Gilbert Scott, on the dignified design on Sneath House -- To Monsignor Ronald Knox, concerning his transcriptions of Holy Writ -- To the Rector of Beaumont College, on exorcism -- To the Headmaster of Oundle, concerning the Chaplain's inefficiency as a rodent operative -- To the Headmaster of Haileybury, for a testimonial on a warty and club-footed applicant -- To Sir Adrian Boult, prospective conductor of The Selhurst Symphony -- To the Headmaster of Ampleforth, concerning Public School Art -- To the Headmaster of Harrow, on the evil influence of Harrrovians -- To the Headmaster of Selhurst School, an invitation to preach at Blundell's -- To the Headmaster of Malvern, more about the Headmasters' Conference -- To the Headmaster of Selhurst School, concerning the placement of young Oswald Worsely's name on the Waiting List -- To the Headmaster of St Benedict's, Ealing, on the low character of his boys -- To the Headmaster of Tonbridge, 'a helluva shock for Rootie' -- To the Headmaster of Eton, applying for that worthy's job -- To the Manager of the Albert Hall, on reuniting Old Selhurstians -- To the Warden of Radley, about the prestigious cricket match.

To the Headmaster of Winchester, a descendant of Selhurst's Founder -- The Daily Worker, April 13th, 1948, on the difficulty of teaching Russian -- To the Headmaster of Selhurst School, with a pertinent newspaper cutting -- To The Daily Woker, from the Board of Trade -- To the Headmaster of Selhurst School, concerning the 'compulsory Russian' policy -- To the same, from a different part of the same building -- To the Headmaster of Selhurst, asking for an interview -- To Mr V. Prager of News Review, refusing an interview -- To the Headmaster of Selhurs, a most undignified telegram -- Who is Rochester Sneath? -- H. Rochester Sneath, MA, L-es-L, passes on.