Cover -- Title Page -- Copyright -- Dedication -- Contents -- Introduction -- Naked Nightmare -- An American (Drug-Smuggling) Girl -- Pills, Thrills, and Green Around the Gills -- Cherub -- And Then I Was Eight…Again -- Hot Date with a Yogi -- Riding the Semi-Deluxe -- The Princess and the Pee -- Gently You Have to Avoid a Frightening Behavior -- Paris, Third Time Around -- The Dangers of Going Local -- Opera for Dummies -- His and Her Vacations -- The Yellow Lady -- Lifelike -- My Husband Is Lost Without Me -- Mother and Child (and Disco) Reunion -- The Ravioli Man -- The Education of a Guinea Pig -- Keys to the Outback -- Almost Grounded -- The Naked and the Wed -- Just Another Malibu Minnie -- Blinded by Science -- Travel Light, Ride Hard -- Size Does Matter -- Heave-Ho -- R-Rated Rescue -- Mein Gott, I've Fried His Underpants -- Killing Me Softy with Your Stare -- Bathtub Blues in the Land of the Rising Buns -- Getting Grandma -- Index of Contributors -- Acknowledgments -- About the Editor.